Wacky Business Idea #1,392

Wacky Business Idea #1,392:  It's unfortunate I really cannot take advantage of this idea. When will some health-conscious, enterprising woman or group of women begin to package and sell milk? Meaning, their own.

This could be a hell of a cottage industry. Talk about your boutique products. Fresh, frozen concentrate, chocolate, fruit smoothies, yogurt, frozen desserts ... I don't know how cheese would work but it might be doable.

The market? Mainly, working moms or those who otherwise do not wish to breastfeed their kids, but who realize that breast milk is nutritionally far superior to cow milk formula for building immune systems, brain development, preventing allergies, asthma, diabetes, obesity, etc. And then perhaps older people searching for the fountain of youth, since the concentrated nutrition in breast milk is said to have anti-aging effects.

I'm sure a certain segment of the male population would be intrigued, especially where the milk producer -- and her, um, milk sources -- were especially attractive and pictured on the bottle. They could fetch a real premium price.

There could even be a niche for organic breast milk, which would fetch an additional premium. I don't know how you certify people organic, however.

Why not? We're all brainwashed into drinking milk from big smelly farm beasts, which is really designed to turn their babies into big smelly farm beasts just like their mommies and daddies. It's not really meant for us. If you're going to drink milk your whole life, why not from a human?

I think the first time this occurred to me was ten years back, when I was hanging with my church friends Chris and Steph (brother & sister who originally turned me on to health and organic food) and Matt, and we were talking about all this stuff. We got on the topic of cow milk and why it's bad for people, and why mommy milk is way better for babies. Chris mentioned that he had accidentally drunk some of his big sister's milk--she'd put it into some kind of cup or bottle in the fridge, to save it.

How'd it taste? I asked.

Not bad, he said. Kinda sweet.