Saturday, February 25, 2006

Spaceships, disposophobia, and the infinite sadness of Taxi 1010 (a retro-post)

So you haven't heard about the UFO pronouncement from Prophet Yahweh? What rock have you been under?

According to the Prophet, "summoning UFOs and actual spaceships on command" is actually a "lost art." (You can see video of his past UFO-summoning work for the low, low price of $7.95.)

He'll be doing his spaceship-summoning, he says, from now until July 15. Verily, verily! The Seer shall command, and UFOs shall appear. Amen?

DISPOSOPHOBIA: Do you suffer from this sad affliction? Does your home look like this?

Maybe these guys can help.

VERY DIFFERENT: Taxi 1010 is one of the weirder sites I've come across lately. It advertises itself as a "verbal self-defense" site. The idea seems to be that you can head off confrontations, or even avert a mugging, by spouting completely nonsensical gibberish.

IF THEY SAY: Kiss off!
YOU REPLY: Infinitely sad.
IF THEY SAY: What's up babe?
IF THEY SAY: Don't play stupid with me!
YOU REPLY: Very different.

Get it? Neither do I. But maybe that's the point. To be counterintuitive, unpredictable, and confusing -- to short-circuit the attacker's wiring for long enough to defuse the situation. Maybe I shoulda tried some of this stuff back in March when a certain young punk threatened to shoot me.

"DOCTOR" "WOMAN" MURDERER: Meanwhile, if you check out this site, I think you'll agree that its author is a bit disturbed, and very likely, the next deadly mass-shooting-spree perp. You read it first here.
And no, I don't know if she is any relation to William Hung. Although it wouldn't surprise me if she were.

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